Recovery, rehab and the anguish.
It has been a little over three weeks since my shoulder got hurt. These three weeks have definitely not been smooth sailing. I went from being able to do headstands and handstands to not be able to lift a laptop with my affected hand. I have been here before. It is not a good place physically or mentally. Physically, I have to start from scratch to let my shoulder rehabilitate. Mentally, I have to control the urge to break out into full beast mode.
I have been doing rehab exercises every day of the past three weeks. I have not rested for even one day. I don’t know if that is counter-productive but I want to get back to my normal, able self as soon as possible. If that means I have to put in extra effort, I will be relentless.
All is not lost, I think. The x-ray showed no injury and the doctor seemed to think nothing had happened. But whatever happened has caused more than just sore muscles, tendons and a weak shoulder. Ever since it happened, my mind is affected. At one point, I was scared to do anything with my affected arm for the fear of my shoulder falling off again.
Against the common advice, I decided to self diagnose after being told by the doctor to rest and ice. I read many forums and blog posts. I even bought this book by Jim Johnson. I feel the pain of all the people who have to go through a dislocated shoulder. But the pain is more mental than physical. In my mind, I am always thinking how much motion would it take to pop back out again? How much weight can it withstand before it dislocates again.
According to medical statistics, if you’re below 20 years of age, there is a 90–95% chance that you will dislocated it again. If you’re under 30, the probability drops to 60–85%.
Yesterday was the first time I tried sleeping on it. It hurt a little and for the fear of it popping out again, I changed positions. It has definitely gotten better. I can move it a lot better in different positions. It is a lot stronger too as I do rehabilitation movements.
This experience has definitely made me more knowledgeable about the human shoulder anatomy. However, I still don’t know the extent of my injury. I keep thinking to myself that I will be fine; but I don’t know that myself for sure.
Last week I wrote a post on why Goku inspires me. Taking a page from Goku’s life, I will try my hardest to get back to normal again. Even if I cannot do certain movements, I will work around them to become the strongest version of myself. After all, I don’t have any Senzu beans on me.